Silk Tie
by letmeupme
Summary: Ichise remembers. The genre is Angst, the piece is fairly vulgar, but it has as happy an ending as the original work allows. Rated for content and swearing. Ichise/Toyama
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes.

This is a bit of an Alternate Universe, mainly because of the borderline shounen-ai obsession I've inserted here. 　'Texhnolyze' is an anime with plenty going on for it, with a beautiful 'end-of-the-world' background and interesting characters.

I've placed the vocabulary list at the end.

.

"Silk Tie" isn't quite complete, but as I believe there are far too few Texhnolyze fics out there, it is going up. If you've any suggestions for this lowly writer, you're very welcome.

.

.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of characters, settings, or any and all parts of this piece of fiction that bears any resemblance to the lovely anime, _Texhnolyze_.

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Silk Tie

by letmeupme

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..Toyama?

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Silken red cloth slid soundlessly to the ground, replaced by nimble fingers that were somewhat alien on his skin. He felt sorry for the tie. His texhnolyze allowed his perception to include all threats in his vision, and he could see the layers of filth on the floor with all their differing levels of toxins. Like, when you mix up enough weed with alcohol, give it a journey through a man's insides, you get something mildly poisonous enough to register on Toyama's texhnolyze.

Not that you could find many clean floors in Lux, but all the same, silk ties didn't belong on dirty floors.

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The clothes, including the red tie were a bit fine for Ichise. The crisp fabric was smooth and thick at the same time. He sometimes found himself wondering why a mere 'soldier' like himself was supposed to wear such. It wasn't as if the cloth was conducive for combat. Maybe not the suit, but his texhnolyzed arm could easily rip the clean white shirt with a bit of unexpected pressure.

Mr. Onishi had bought him the outfits on his initiation to the Organo, however, and so Ichise would wear them.

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"_I have to make sure, Ichise. Are you really in for this?"_

Ichise remembers thinking, how very much like Onishi-san it was, to give a guy a way out at that point in time. Nobody had warned him when he'd stepped foot into the world of professional fighting. He might have kept his limbs the way they were, all organic, if they had. Maybe something along the line of, telling him that not allowing the boss's mistress to have her merry way with him was a big no-no. He wouldn't have been dragged out to the middle of nowhere to get one arm and one leg sawed off. His limbs would still be texholyze-free, non-mechanical, and hence would still allow Ichise to continue fighting in a ring. He'd been living on his fists for as long as he could remember, he didn't know how to live otherwise. Quite a conundrum, Toyama would say.

Well, so he'd learned that most of the world moved on fluke and chance, and that you should think twice before accepting an easy job.

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Onishi-san and Doc entered Ichise's life after his ignominious decapitation.

Filled with rage and helplessness, he swore silently as passersby whispered and jeered. The pity in their eyes made him realize how far he'd fallen. What was a professional fighter that could no longer be allowed in the ring? He continued to limp forward, holding his swiftly decaying burden- his severed limbs –close to him. He knew it was a lost cause, but somebody, somewhere might have the resources to stitch him up, and might even believe him when he said he would pay.

When Onishi-san happened upon the one-armed and one-legged Ichise staggering with a roughly made crutch, Onishi-san had simply said to his men.

"_Leave him be."_

Onishi-san was a born leader of men, and it was visible then, even to Ichise who had never cared much for yakuza bosses before.

.

Later on, he would recognize that moment as the time when he found a way out of his hell. He'd seen a greatness one man could achieve, not by weaponry, not by wealth.

Quiet and understated, Onishi-san could move people just by the sight of his strength. Ichise, too.

As he came to know the man himself, he found that he trusted Onishi-san, and that simply being with him, protecting him and carrying out his will gave Ichise a purpose in life.

He of course, understood the debt he owed the man.

But what held Ichise to try to pay more than that debt called for was the man himself, the person who effortlessly soared above the masses, and yet soldiered on to make the best out of a city like Lux. And while there was never much to smile about, Onishi-san was a boss who let a man live with his conscience.

"_We'll have to buy you something that looks good on you."_

Hence, the clothes.

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After watching Onishi-san's car disappear into the distance, he woke up in a cold, sterile room. He'd lost consciousness from the loss of blood, and he'd been picked up by somebody.

Scrabbling for his missing baggage of arm and leg, he would realize that he was scrabbling with two arms and two legs.

The newly set texhnolyze did not make for any real movement, and he panicked.

The two heavy deadweights sending unwanted, wildly flickering images in vivid shades of black and green to clash with his perception, he thrashed and he hurt, he struck anything within reach, until the person who'd picked him up gave him enough tranquilizer to knock out a horse.

The infuriating person turned out to be an equally infuriating character. A doctor from the Above with connetctions to the Organo, who dreamed of the heights humankind could reach through texhnolyze, she was arrogant, and sure knew how to push his buttons. He ran away from 'Doc' and her facilities at his first chance, not waiting to see whether his body would accept the new mechanical limbs. Ichise was sure the dislike was mutual, but Doc did put in a word for him with Onishi-san so that he wouldn't be harmed.

Doc insisted that she did so to ensure her 'experiment' wouldn't go to waste, but considering how messed up he was until the texhnolyze stabilized, Ichise doubted he would have survived long enough to enter the Organo without that head start.

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And while Ichise never learned to like the lady doctor, he did feel something akin to sympathy when her dream turned out to be a dud.

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Vocabulary:

Lux – A chaotic underground city, Lux, which is governed by yakuza and has an almost primitive feel for its violence and crime. Lux is also known for producing the weed that affects the immune system, allowing for the denizens of Lux to 'technolyze' their body.

Gabe / Ran - A rural village of Lux. It is said that the inhabitants descend from the historic leaders of Lux, and members of the Organo are seen seeking council in the anime. They protect their lifestyle with zeal, and they worship Ran, a young prophetess who sees the future. Gabe is different from the rest of Lux, in that it has a structured (non-chaotic) , albeit medieval environment.

Texhnolyze – The technology used to attach and incorporate artificial limbs to a human body. Its uses range from classic prosthesis to accessorizing oneself as one would with a tattoo. Considering that the city claims its many opposing mafia clans as its governing force, a metallic middle finger that can lengthen and sharpen at will would certainly come handy in everyday life. Texhnolyzed people are prohibited from professional fighting, and there is even a Luddite force called the Union that sees Texhnolyze as a threat to the mind and body.

Lafia – A flower of a type of liverwort that can only be grown in Lux. It disrupts the immune system, and is used in texhnolyzing.

Organo – A board of Mafia leaders that preside over Lux, including an Onishi and a Kohagura, under which Ichise and Toyama work, respectively.

Lacan - A quickly growing group of youngsters who contest to Organo's iron rule, they gather under a sole rule, freedom.

Class – A mysterious governing power from Above, which seems to have more monetary funds and clout than the Organo.

Above – As opposing to the underground city Lux, which is easy to enter from the Above, but is nearly impossible to leave. In the ending chapters of the anime, the Above, which is previously imaginable as a rich, affluent land with a population of upstanding citizens, is exposed as a clean, sterile land with a dying civilization and its ghosts. The Class, thought to be of the Above, are seemingly a different political entity, and are also dying out.

Shapes – Persons that have been Texhnolyzed from neck down, in accordance to a destructive political ideology introduced by a surviving member of the Class. The resulting robots are very uniform with clean lines, making for somewhat unsettling scenery.

Fraher – A perfectly fictional unit for measuring, even in the world of Texhnolyze

Saigo no – Japanese for "My last (piece of)-."

Sead – A glutinous, repulsive drink whose merits lie in its accessibility and alcohol content. Like Fraher, a word made for solely this story.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes.

This is a bit of an Alternate Universe, mainly because of the borderline shounen-ai obsession I've inserted here. 　'Texhnolyze' is an anime with plenty going on for it, with a beautiful 'end-of-the-world' background and interesting characters.

I've placed the vocabulary list at the end.

.

"Silk Tie" isn't quite complete, but as I believe there are far too few Texhnolyze fics out there, it is going up. If you've any suggestions for this lowly writer, you're very welcome.

.

.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of characters, settings, or any and all parts of this piece of fiction that bears any resemblance to the lovely anime, _Texhnolyze_.

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Silk Tie

by letmeupme

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..Toyama?

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As the same nimble fingers began to relieve Ichise of the restriction his shirt buttons provided, he thought back to when he'd first met this weird guy.

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Meetings between chief members of the Organo always demanded high security, and this time both Onishi-san and Kohagura had units of somewhere around 6 to 8 people waiting outside, with 1 bodyguard each for the boardroom. Onishi-san considered Kohagura-san to be relatively reasonable amongst the other Organo members. Ichise vaguely disliked Kohagura, who came in a firm second to Onishi-san in the Organo hierarchy. There was an untrustworthiness about him that was hard to ignore. What caught Ichise's interest, however, was Kohagura's bodyguard. Ichise was atypical for his job, young and new to the clan, but he had the muscle and scars to make up for it. Kohagura's bodyguard was, for lack of other words, different. Only slightly older than Ichise, he was effeminate, quiet, and cold. He gave you that expression despite keeping his lips firmly twisted to somewhat resemble a smile. Ichise decided that the other bodyguard could probably hold his own in a skirmish.

Afterwards, he was paired with the same effeminate boy who would 'show him the ropes' for the span of a few weeks. The boy's name was Toyama. Toyama taught him how to use the katana instead of the more common gun, and Ichise learned to tolerate Toyama pretty well.

After those few weeks, Ichise put both lessons to good use, and Toyama likewise showed great skill in abolishing miscreants and a high tolerance for Ichise's company.

On a mission to gather intelligence, Ichise was given a glimpse to the fucked up household Toyama was born to. Ichise didn't mind that Toyama had the same fucked up roots as everybody else. And so Ichise missed that slightly sad expression when he brushed off Toyama's nonverbal apology for what Ichise would later on, wonder about. Was that bout of sex, done solely to gather intelligence, a somewhat convoluted act of cheating in their then non-existent relationship? And so, they lost touch.

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. Vocabulary:

Lux – A chaotic underground city, Lux, which is governed by yakuza and has an almost primitive feel for its violence and crime. Lux is also known for producing the weed that affects the immune system, allowing for the denizens of Lux to 'technolyze' their body.

Gabe / Ran - A rural village of Lux. It is said that the inhabitants descend from the historic leaders of Lux, and members of the Organo are seen seeking council in the anime. They protect their lifestyle with zeal, and they worship Ran, a young prophetess who sees the future. Gabe is different from the rest of Lux, in that it has a structured (non-chaotic) , albeit medieval environment.

Texhnolyze – The technology used to attach and incorporate artificial limbs to a human body. Its uses range from classic prosthesis to accessorizing oneself as one would with a tattoo. Considering that the city claims its many opposing mafia clans as its governing force, a metallic middle finger that can lengthen and sharpen at will would certainly come handy in everyday life. Texhnolyzed people are prohibited from professional fighting, and there is even a Luddite force called the Union that sees Texhnolyze as a threat to the mind and body.

Lafia – A flower of a type of liverwort that can only be grown in Lux. It disrupts the immune system, and is used in texhnolyzing.

Organo – A board of Mafia leaders that preside over Lux, including an Onishi and a Kohagura, under which Ichise and Toyama work, respectively.

Lacan - A quickly growing group of youngsters who contest to Organo's iron rule, they gather under a sole rule, freedom.

Class – A mysterious governing power from Above, which seems to have more monetary funds and clout than the Organo.

Above – As opposing to the underground city Lux, which is easy to enter from the Above, but is nearly impossible to leave. In the ending chapters of the anime, the Above, which is previously imaginable as a rich, affluent land with a population of upstanding citizens, is exposed as a clean, sterile land with a dying civilization and its ghosts. The Class, thought to be of the Above, are seemingly a different political entity, and are also dying out.

Shapes – Persons that have been Texhnolyzed from neck down, in accordance to a destructive political ideology introduced by a surviving member of the Class. The resulting robots are very uniform with clean lines, making for somewhat unsettling scenery.

Fraher – A perfectly fictional unit for measuring, even in the world of Texhnolyze

Saigo no – Japanese for "My last (piece of)-."

Sead – A glutinous, repulsive drink whose merits lie in its accessibility and alcohol content. Like Fraher, a word made for solely this story.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes.

This is a bit of an Alternate Universe, mainly because of the borderline shounen-ai obsession I've inserted here. 　'Texhnolyze' is an anime with plenty going on for it, with a beautiful 'end-of-the-world' background and interesting characters.

I've placed the vocabulary list at the end.

.

"Silk Tie" isn't quite complete, but as I believe there are far too few Texhnolyze fics out there, it is going up. If you've any suggestions for this lowly writer, you're very welcome.

.

.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of characters, settings, or any and all parts of this piece of fiction that bears any resemblance to the lovely anime, _Texhnolyze_.

.

Silk Tie

by letmeupme

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..Toyama?

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Later on, as Ichise rode in the same car as Onishi-san, he heard that Toyama was rising in ranks, too. He wasn't surprised. Ichise also heard that Kohagura and Toyama had become very close. It seemed strange, but somewhat logical. Keeping a mistress safe took time and manpower, while fucking your subordinate actually saved time on briefing and strengthened your security. If Toyama didn't mind, it wasn't something a brother put much thought into.

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And that was the way things were, or the way they were supposed to be, at least.

Things were changing, and Ichise had no doubt that Toyama's strangely gentle touch was a result of those changes.

The Organo was quickly losing its members to mysterious infighting that nobody knew of until the deaths.

Kohagura and Onishi-san were working on it, the strange visitors from Above, and the demands coming from the usually silent Class. The increasing ferocity in the city.

Ichise didn't like that Onishi-san was placing so much trust in Kohagura. He was up to something, but Onishi-san refused to look into it. What Ichise didn't like even further was that the reason Onishi-san didn't have some of his men look into it was because the Organo didn't have that many men anymore to spare.

Men were deserting everywhere, in every yakuza clan in the Organo, in the streets, like in the Union and in the Lacan.

They were doing their jobs, and just disappeared, maybe when they went out to see their squeezes, or maybe when they went to shit.

Ichise didn't like that he was now working almost daily alongside Toyama, because that meant that they were having _Organo_ troubles, the kind where it meant that Lux was getting trouble from the outised, rather than the usual skirmishes between clans and youths. When you were being sent to investigate new deaths from the supposed 'inter-clan skirmishes' which nobody knew about in the same tag, it meant that neither Onishi-san nor Kohagura had enough competent men to handle difficult missions on their own anymore.

While Ichise didn't mind working with Toyama, he really didn't like the situation.

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He didn't like that Toyama was showing change, too.

So to prevent anymore change, maybe pushing him off, or making a random joke or two would be the logical path to take.

He didn't know why, but he didn't want things between them to be subject to that unreality, the change that was creeping up on the rest of Lux.

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Seeing the same facial expression on Toyama as that first time they met so closely, Ichise had thought it strange, but somewhat logical, as well.

Maybe this, whatever they had, had been too strange, for the both of them.

A little too pretty, sane.

Like something you would have expected Above, not in Lux.

This change might _unchange _their hitherto un-nameable relationship, returning it to something normal. Less complicated.

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_"__Such smooth skin, Ichise-san."_

The lone finger barely touching him was cool.

_"__..Unlikely, don't you think, that a person who lives by brute strength has such soft skin? So inviting, so warm... I-"_

The skin affected by the finger tingled, reacting to the touch, reacting to Toyama.

In that same moment, Toyama could have shorn off that same skin in one fell swipe.

This knowledge did not cause Ichise any unease, for what Ichise felt for Toyama was borne of a strong affinity. Ichise also knew how easy it was to just move, limbs smoothly sliding into a well-practiced language of violence. It would be so easy for Ichise to realign his limbs to begin combat, and it would be just as easy for Toyama to retaliate to that first kick with some chopping maneuver or by retrieving his blade. It would be so easy.

Neither of them would, though.

They were too similar, if not in their fighting patterns, at least in their capabilities to combat. They were on the same plane of existence in a chaotic world, submerged in a multitude of anarchic forces struggling for supremacy, and while neither was on the other's side per se, they could count on each other to act accordingly. It wasn't much, but what they had was rare. Special, even. Yet still, it would have been easy to just..

It might have been easier for Ichise to have removed himself from this unknown game, this new conversation Toyama was trying enact.

And yet Ichise relaxed his muscles further, allowing control to slip further away.

Because Toyama was smiling, Ichise felt _normal_. Sort of. There didn't seem to be any logic to it, considering the bastard never really changed expression, but there it was. Just like after the time at that harbor, and when Ichise almost said goodbye to the living world for not knowing when to _Reigi_, and when the Organo first broke out into this frenzy. Toyama never lost that expression.

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On the other hand, it might have been curiosity that led the two of them to that day.

Neither of them had touched another without reason, without something to gain.

With the ominous winds of change and something else blowing outside, would it have been so strange to just try, with someone you could trust your back with?

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. Vocabulary:

Lux – A chaotic underground city, Lux, which is governed by yakuza and has an almost primitive feel for its violence and crime. Lux is also known for producing the weed that affects the immune system, allowing for the denizens of Lux to 'technolyze' their body.

Gabe / Ran - A rural village of Lux. It is said that the inhabitants descend from the historic leaders of Lux, and members of the Organo are seen seeking council in the anime. They protect their lifestyle with zeal, and they worship Ran, a young prophetess who sees the future. Gabe is different from the rest of Lux, in that it has a structured (non-chaotic) , albeit medieval environment.

Texhnolyze – The technology used to attach and incorporate artificial limbs to a human body. Its uses range from classic prosthesis to accessorizing oneself as one would with a tattoo. Considering that the city claims its many opposing mafia clans as its governing force, a metallic middle finger that can lengthen and sharpen at will would certainly come handy in everyday life. Texhnolyzed people are prohibited from professional fighting, and there is even a Luddite force called the Union that sees Texhnolyze as a threat to the mind and body.

Lafia – A flower of a type of liverwort that can only be grown in Lux. It disrupts the immune system, and is used in texhnolyzing.

Organo – A board of Mafia leaders that preside over Lux, including an Onishi and a Kohagura, under which Ichise and Toyama work, respectively.

Lacan - A quickly growing group of youngsters who contest to Organo's iron rule, they gather under a sole rule, freedom.

Class – A mysterious governing power from Above, which seems to have more monetary funds and clout than the Organo.

Above – As opposing to the underground city Lux, which is easy to enter from the Above, but is nearly impossible to leave. In the ending chapters of the anime, the Above, which is previously imaginable as a rich, affluent land with a population of upstanding citizens, is exposed as a clean, sterile land with a dying civilization and its ghosts. The Class, thought to be of the Above, are seemingly a different political entity, and are also dying out.

Shapes – Persons that have been Texhnolyzed from neck down, in accordance to a destructive political ideology introduced by a surviving member of the Class. The resulting robots are very uniform with clean lines, making for somewhat unsettling scenery.

Fraher – A perfectly fictional unit for measuring, even in the world of Texhnolyze

Saigo no – Japanese for "My last (piece of)-."

Sead – A glutinous, repulsive drink whose merits lie in its accessibility and alcohol content. Like Fraher, a word made for solely this story.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes.

This is a bit of an Alternate Universe, mainly because of the borderline shounen-ai obsession I've inserted here. 　'Texhnolyze' is an anime with plenty going on for it, with a beautiful 'end-of-the-world' background and interesting characters.

I've placed the vocabulary list at the end.

.

"Silk Tie" isn't quite complete, but as I believe there are far too few Texhnolyze fics out there, it is going up. If you've any suggestions for this lowly writer, you're very welcome.

.

.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of characters, settings, or any and all parts of this piece of fiction that bears any resemblance to the lovely anime, _Texhnolyze_.

.

Silk Tie

by letmeupme

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Toyama never really changed expression.

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So Ichise wondered why Toyama seemed to truly smile sometimes, without ever moving his lips.

But there it was. Just like after the time at that harbor, and when Ichise almost said goodbye to the living world for not knowing when to _Reigi_, and when the Organo first broke out into this frenzy.

Whether it was Toyama expressing some perverse pleasure at Ichise's mishaps, or the violence, Ichise never knew, but he did know it seemed somewhat satisfied, and somewhat amused.

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Seeing that same non-smile felt disconcerting combined with hands that really knew what they were doing.

Slightly callused from handling a sword, the skin seemed paper thin and was cool to the touch. You could feel the bones, their structure through that skin, and like their owner, Ichise found them somewhat tolerable.

Ichise vaguely wished that the boss's mistress had had hands like Toyama.

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Sometimes Ichise felt that Toyama's non-smile was a way of rewarding others for behaving well. Like you might smile to a mongrel you'd picked up off the streets. There you go, now you've learned to shit where you ought to, you don't stink the place up as much, do you?

.

Even then, Toyama could have been touching his dog, with that strangely gentle, mocking caress that seemed to go on and on.

Dogs can be petted, dogs can be kicked.

Never let it be said that the street-wise don't need companionship. If you've survived long enough to be street savvy, you've had your fair share of being petted and kicked, and would know enough to impart the same care to others. Toyama Haruhiko, he was like that, too. He'd probably had the same education as Ichise.

Toyama, unlike Ichise, had a difficult relationship with authority.

He'd learned to fear it. If you steal food from the table, you get punished.

He also craved authority, somewhat. That's where Toyama got his crazy. Maybe it was a 'if you can't beat them, join them' kind of thing.

No matter his fighting skills, no matter his street smarts, Toyama's nonchalance was merely a façade to combat the abusive aspect of his desire.

Unlike a lot of the crazies around there, Toyama seemed to wish that the façade was his true face. That he felt no _fear_, that the Cheshire grin he wore day in day out was simply a reaction to the thrills and chases that came along with being an aspiring yakuza. Ichise noted that the sentiment seemed genuine.

Ichise also didn't give a damn about such fears, nor did he usually care about those who craved and shivered in their boots about the meager power pie to be shared in their wonderful little shit-hole known as the underground city Lux. But he respected Toyama, and that was enough. He'd seen the fear all around him as his fucking motherland, Lux cherished and reared the tiny wolf in him, as a child, and he knew enough that sometimes, for fucked up guys like Toyama-

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_Wet flesh lapped at the moisture beading on his upper lip._

"_Do you like that?"_

_As he moved lower, and lower,_

"_Does it feel good?"_

_"Does it feel any different to what you've had in the past?"_

_"I've always been told I'm exceptional at giving head, but terrible at being on the receiving end. Does that make me a passive seme, or an aggressive uke?"_

_Holding Ichise down from what had been beginning to be an exceptional kiss, he grasps Ichise's hands and their pressure points with a deceptively soft touch and brings them to his face. _

_One long moment later, Ichise's hands are freed, and his neck is held hostage, disallowing movement as Toyama plunders his mouth. _

.

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-they loathed that which held it over them. They'd try and try to get out under it, and that usually, for fucked up guys like Toyama, it could work out as in a bullet in the back of the head.

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_"I appreciate your hands, Ichise-san. One bears scars appropriate to your fighting style, and the other has a surface as immaculately.. clean as your ethics."_

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Ichise tried wondering, sometimes.

Wondering how fuckers like Toyama came to be fuckers, and how one downer like himself could possibly contemplate trying to fucking _save_ a fucker who seemed to be barreling closer and closer to that bullet every day,

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.

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-and then he left wondering behind. He'd once seen the words "Alice in Wonderland" written on a cover of one of the books in a medicine man's bookshelf. Stood to wonder that a pot dealer would fill his shelves with things that sounded stupid and intimidating at the same time, and it stood to logic that a pot dealer would own enough books to fill a bookshelf. Books were things of the old world, of the world Above, and were so hard to come by they had nothing to do with to-be fuckers and downers.

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"_I knew you to be stoic and to the point, Ichise-san, but do you always have to give your opponents such a hard time? That sweet little flower girl will never like you if you act like such a boor in front of her."_

_Toyama then stopped smiling, stopped talking, and despite the small jab at the young prophetess he revered for her straightforwardness and innocence in the twisted city, Lux, Ichise lost track of time in Toyama's touch._

_._

_Definitely aroused, the next time Toyama spoke, he crooned._

"_What if I told you I hated your guts, and I intended to finish the job once I'd taken what I wanted?"_

_A slight accent that he must have lost upon his ascent in the yakuza accentuated Toyama's speech. The slip in his usually impeccable vocabulary seemed vulgar, somehow more so than the daily slough that pours out on the Lacan streets._

"_My family, my father. My fellow street rat brothers. They all believed that physically violation is what makes a pussy. Do you think so, too? I'm not so sure nowadays. You with your big muscles and guns. It doesn't take much to lower your guards, it sure doesn't take much more to slit your throats. Ain't anyone shown you when you began your worthless lives of breathing, shitting sewage? I'll show em violated. It don't need to hurt, it don't need to die, it don't need money, it don't even need–"_

_The hands touching him grew more insistent, and the sight before Ichise grew at once more vivid and distant. Almost fervently working towards an unseen goal preparing both Ichise and himself, Toyama seemed to be released from the rules and the culture that bound him day to day. Ichise felt both hot and cold, and perhaps for the first time in his life-_

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_He cared._

He cared without the reverence, admiration he felt for Onishi-san, he cared without the sorrow and the regret he felt for his parents, he cared without the anger and the ugliness he held for the men in the city.

He cared for the pettiness and the façade, all the different tired, sorry interiors, the shivering uncertainty and the strength that pushed them to live another day.

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.

.

. Vocabulary:

Lux – A chaotic underground city, Lux, which is governed by yakuza and has an almost primitive feel for its violence and crime. Lux is also known for producing the weed that affects the immune system, allowing for the denizens of Lux to 'technolyze' their body.

Gabe / Ran - A rural village of Lux. It is said that the inhabitants descend from the historic leaders of Lux, and members of the Organo are seen seeking council in the anime. They protect their lifestyle with zeal, and they worship Ran, a young prophetess who sees the future. Gabe is different from the rest of Lux, in that it has a structured (non-chaotic) , albeit medieval environment.

Texhnolyze – The technology used to attach and incorporate artificial limbs to a human body. Its uses range from classic prosthesis to accessorizing oneself as one would with a tattoo. Considering that the city claims its many opposing mafia clans as its governing force, a metallic middle finger that can lengthen and sharpen at will would certainly come handy in everyday life. Texhnolyzed people are prohibited from professional fighting, and there is even a Luddite force called the Union that sees Texhnolyze as a threat to the mind and body.

Lafia – A flower of a type of liverwort that can only be grown in Lux. It disrupts the immune system, and is used in texhnolyzing.

Organo – A board of Mafia leaders that preside over Lux, including an Onishi and a Kohagura, under which Ichise and Toyama work, respectively.

Lacan - A quickly growing group of youngsters who contest to Organo's iron rule, they gather under a sole rule, freedom.

Class – A mysterious governing power from Above, which seems to have more monetary funds and clout than the Organo.

Above – As opposing to the underground city Lux, which is easy to enter from the Above, but is nearly impossible to leave. In the ending chapters of the anime, the Above, which is previously imaginable as a rich, affluent land with a population of upstanding citizens, is exposed as a clean, sterile land with a dying civilization and its ghosts. The Class, thought to be of the Above, are seemingly a different political entity, and are also dying out.

Shapes – Persons that have been Texhnolyzed from neck down, in accordance to a destructive political ideology introduced by a surviving member of the Class. The resulting robots are very uniform with clean lines, making for somewhat unsettling scenery.

Fraher – A perfectly fictional unit for measuring, even in the world of Texhnolyze

Saigo no – Japanese for "My last (piece of)-."

Sead – A glutinous, repulsive drink whose merits lie in its accessibility and alcohol content. Like Fraher, a word made for solely this story.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes.

This is a bit of an Alternate Universe, mainly because of the borderline shounen-ai obsession I've inserted here. 　'Texhnolyze' is an anime with plenty going on for it, with a beautiful 'end-of-the-world' background and interesting characters.

I've placed the vocabulary list at the end.

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"Silk Tie" isn't quite complete, but as I believe there are far too few Texhnolyze fics out there, it is going up. If you've any suggestions for this lowly writer, you're very welcome.

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Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of characters, settings, or any and all parts of this piece of fiction that bears any resemblance to the lovely anime, _Texhnolyze_.

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Silk Tie

by letmeupme

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Toyama's non-smile returned when Ichise reached out to stop Toyama's roaming hand.

Ichise understood, somewhat, the reasoning behind Toyama's act, but he couldn't consent to it for those same reasons.

They might never meet again.

Ichise didn't know why Toyama would choose him, why he would choose this path to sooth whatever it was that unsettled Toyama about it.

Ichise was uneasy with the idea that Toyama would be alone again, with no one at his back, so he had to dislike it. He wished it were a passing regret. You had a lot of those when you lived in Lux.

And, you know, Toyama, fucked up as he was, probably wouldn't mind dying that way. Falling, just because he was too much of a bastard to find anyone else who would have his back. Falling hard, because where he'd risen was too high for even crazy fuckers like Toyama to climb safely. And he disliked that next time; nobody would bother to bring Toyama back from the killing edge. The spectators would applaud him, they would fucking drive Toyama that much closer to his brittle breaking point with their fucking authority over this damned shithole without _caring_ that Toyama would be no more, with all his crazy and his fucking _manners_ and _ambition_ and that stupid, soft hide which seemed a miracle to Ichise in a way he didn't really fucking understand.

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"..Toyama?"

"_Saigo no advice, Ichise. Don't think too much."_

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He disliked the powerlessness of it, of Toyama bringing warmth and touch and _fuck_, he hated it, despite that he thought it might be beneficial a few moments ago to let things play out, it felt just like the old times, fuck or fight and you get the money and girls and the stash whether you wanted it or not, and he felt himself clawing for some way to fight it, while his arms still obediently welcomed Toyama back to his lap.

His fingers answered Toyama's coaxing fingers, tracing his jaw line, his bones, nipples, veins, retracing the paths with his nose and tongue. Toyama lightly scraped the front of Ichise's trousers with his knuckles, dragging the layers of fabric over the slow heat. There were scars and almost faded bruises a _fraher_ wide on Toyama that Ichise only sees on hindsight.

The insistent pressure finally roused him to grip Toyama hard enough to bruise. Toyama only slanted his eyes in a gesture that could be taken for pleasure

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"_-would sink my teeth into your flesh and blood, devour you now. Drip your life over my skin, even as it thickens and clots, and revel in the smell, your smell. If only you weren't such a worthy-"_

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_Time ceased to have meaning, duty became second to this all-compassing heat. _

_It burned and scorched, and Ichise wanted, wanted Toyama to, wanted for Toyama to, and above all wanted with all his strength in an obscenely vague way, he wanted Toyama safe, he wanted Toyama dead, he wanted Toyama secure in his arms, or maybe he even wished Toyama his freedom. _

_And perhaps, perhaps Toyama felt his need. Why else would he cry?_

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" _-ent, I would regret it. I have been restraining myself for quite some time, Ichise-san. Did you ever think of me this way? I know you didn't leave as quickly as you could have."_

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_Words seemed to jumble together and fall apart, and yet make perfect sense. Ichise knew what Toyama was talking about, just as Toyama knew he did._

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"_You didn't leave as quickly as you could have that time, even though I asked it of you. Did you see? Did you hear? Did you find us- me interesting?"_

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_Did he? Had he?_

_He no longer knew, but he knew it mattered. This time._

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"_Ichise-san, do you find me repulsive? Or do you anticipate our joining? Do you find that anticipation clinging like sead in your throat, drowning you in the guilt and disgust? Oh so disgusting, oh so weak.. like my father. Like me."_

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Afterwards, when the blue sky of the Above is a memory, Ichise mourns Toyama.

He mourns not speaking when Toyama could still raise an eyebrow at him for suggesting something so _nice_ it seemed bizarre and somewhat insulting in their world.

He mourns not having swept Toyama away from the violence.

Violence suited Ichise then, but it didn't suit Toyama, had never suited Toyama, who thrived on it mainly because he could lose so much of himself in the process.

What could he have offered Toyama?

A lot.

Maybe not much.

But looking around at all the fuck-ugly plant life that had overtaken Lux, Ichise thinks that maybe, it would have been enough.

Nobody would have come after them if he had taken Toyama away.

There was no Organo, no Lacan, no mysterious all-powerful _Class_ around anymore.

Nobody would have cared. Away from the violence, away from the power and the hunger and the oncoming crazy, Ichise could have given Toyama the freedom in which to enjoy his crazy.

The crazy, the stupid and ugly and meaningless blood-lust that had taken over Lux so strongly contrasted with Toyama, who was kind of pretty even with his crazy, kept reminding Ichise of his what-ifs.

The dankness contrasting with the blue sky of the Above reminded him of how Toyama had been kind of pretty even as he died, even as he thanked Ichise for fucking putting him out of his misery with a damn good fight, even as he died a fucking Shape.

Maybe he could've stopped the shivering.

It might have been enough to know that that day, Ichise hadn't found Toyama repulsing, that he hadn't allowed the stupid out of pity, and that he had actually fucking cared. Who knows.

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_..Toyama?_

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Red.

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_..Toyama?_

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Red blood, spurting from where he'd probably hit some carotid artery.

It's funny that even as one of _them_, Toyama still looks pretty damn good to Ichise.

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_..Toyama?_

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"..Toyama?"

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"arigatou"

Says the fucker as he fucking dies.

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_._

Ichise doen't think as he goes through the motions of going back. Walking down the stairway that leads to Lux, vague shapes flit through his mind, but he doesn't care.

He knows he should feel something when first seeing all the Shapes, immobile and breaking and _not Toyama_ littering Lux when he descends, but he doesn't care.

He's too busy remembering.

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_...Toyama?_

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The silken red cloth slides almost soundlessly to the ground, replaced by nimble fingers that are familiar yet alien on his skin.

His murmuring is like silk over steel, _if only he could remember what it fucking sounded like_.

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"Don't think too much, Ichise-san."

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Amongst the dying humanity of the non-Shapes, and the dying batteries of the Shapes, Ichise finds the dead body of his once-precious flower girl.

He buries her.

He thinks that, while the blue sky Above had been wasted on him and Toyama, Ran might have enjoyed seeing it.

He looks around, and guesses that he doesn't feel any sorrow for the sorry sight that greets him, and he feels somewhat justified in feeling joy that the same power-hungry dickheads that screwed Ran over for her prophecies were probably not expecting this outcome.

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As Ichise hunkers down to wait, to wait until he can join the ranks of the fuck-ugly plant life of Shapes and stupids that have become of the population in Lux, he remembers, and thinks that it's pretty fucked up for a downer like himself to have wondered over a fucker like Toyama.

And he remembers that since the fucker seemed to have tolerated the downer somewhat, the downer must have wondered pretty well.

_The End._

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. Vocabulary:

Lux – A chaotic underground city, Lux, which is governed by yakuza and has an almost primitive feel for its violence and crime. Lux is also known for producing the weed that affects the immune system, allowing for the denizens of Lux to 'technolyze' their body.

Gabe / Ran - A rural village of Lux. It is said that the inhabitants descend from the historic leaders of Lux, and members of the Organo are seen seeking council in the anime. They protect their lifestyle with zeal, and they worship Ran, a young prophetess who sees the future. Gabe is different from the rest of Lux, in that it has a structured (non-chaotic) , albeit medieval environment.

Texhnolyze – The technology used to attach and incorporate artificial limbs to a human body. Its uses range from classic prosthesis to accessorizing oneself as one would with a tattoo. Considering that the city claims its many opposing mafia clans as its governing force, a metallic middle finger that can lengthen and sharpen at will would certainly come handy in everyday life. Texhnolyzed people are prohibited from professional fighting, and there is even a Luddite force called the Union that sees Texhnolyze as a threat to the mind and body.

Lafia – A flower of a type of liverwort that can only be grown in Lux. It disrupts the immune system, and is used in texhnolyzing.

Organo – A board of Mafia leaders that preside over Lux, including an Onishi and a Kohagura, under which Ichise and Toyama work, respectively.

Lacan - A quickly growing group of youngsters who contest to Organo's iron rule, they gather under a sole rule, freedom.

Class – A mysterious governing power from Above, which seems to have more monetary funds and clout than the Organo.

Above – As opposing to the underground city Lux, which is easy to enter from the Above, but is nearly impossible to leave. In the ending chapters of the anime, the Above, which is previously imaginable as a rich, affluent land with a population of upstanding citizens, is exposed as a clean, sterile land with a dying civilization and its ghosts. The Class, thought to be of the Above, are seemingly a different political entity, and are also dying out.

Shapes – Persons that have been Texhnolyzed from neck down, in accordance to a destructive political ideology introduced by a surviving member of the Class. The resulting robots are very uniform with clean lines, making for somewhat unsettling scenery.

Fraher – A perfectly fictional unit for measuring, even in the world of Texhnolyze

Saigo no – Japanese for "My last (piece of)-."

Sead – A glutinous, repulsive drink whose merits lie in its accessibility and alcohol content. Like Fraher, a word made for solely this story.


End file.
